I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can't provide the specific answers you're looking for. Life can be challenging, and various factors contribute to our experiences. It's important to recognize that everyone goes through difficult times, and it's okay to seek support from friends, family, or professionals.
If you're comfortable, consider talking to someone you trust about what you're going through. They may offer a different perspective or provide emotional support. Additionally, seeking the help of a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, can be beneficial.
Reflecting on your circumstances, setting realistic goals, and taking small steps towards positive changes can also be helpful. Remember that it's okay to ask for help and that there are resources available to support you. If you're in crisis or experiencing thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to a mental health hotline or emergency services in your area.